Let's go, Red Sox!
Hey, Ump, get off your knees. You're blowin' the game!
Al Waterman. Have a sponge, young man.
She's killing me with the laptop.
Sitting there doing her homework.
So, when do you find out about this promotion thing?
Uh, next month.
Oh, cool. I just wanted to know how long I gotta put up with this at the ball games.
- Ben, this is my third game this week. - Oh, no, I know that.
And I always have to leave at 6:00 to be here on time.
And then we don't get home till 11:00, then you and I go at it all night...
and then that's all time lost.
Really?
Well, when I say lost, I mean it's time that I have to make up.
- I know. - You know? I already got my ass chewed out-
- Hot dogs here! - by my boss this week, okay?
- Yo! - Hot dogs!
- Fenway Frank? - Blech.
One, please. Mustard, please. Thank you. What do I owe?
No, they didn't find anything. She's fine. I swear.
She's lying down right now.
Molly? Okay, there's another phone call coming in, okay?
Check in later. Okay, bye-bye.
Hello. Troy.
You're kidding me. Now? All right, thanks. Bye.
Honey, you're on television.
Come and get 'em at Cerrone Cadillac.
The Red Sox picked up the "W." There was a scary moment though in this one in the sixth inning...
when Miguel Tejada hit a vicious foul ball off Mike Myers...
that actually hit a woman.
The 0-1 is fouled off back into the seats.
- That had to hurt. - Oh!
She was transported to a local hospital...
but fortunately she was released and she's gonna be all right.
It wasn't that bad actually.
It was actually very ladylike.
I mean, you just kind of... slinked out of your chair.
It was pretty limber.
- All right. I'll let you sleep. - No, Ben.
Gah!
You have a whole not her head up there.
Yeah, well, the one that can talk needs to say something.
I don't think that I should go to the games anymore.
Why? Because of this?
No, because I'm becoming someone that I hate.
Someone who gets a boyfriend, and poof, their entire prior life just vanishes.
I have to focus on my work right now. I have to.
And besides, you'll have such a better time if you go with Troy or Gerard...
or the bald anesthesiologist.
Come on. You have to go. Please?
Listen. You go to the games, and I'll stay at the office.
And when the game is over, you'll come racing home like you’re scoring the winning run...
and I'll be here waiting.
Waiting?
I'll be waiting.
What, you'll be waiting for me?
- Yeah. - Ooh.
You know, all this talk about waiting is making me not wanna wait.
Ben, I'm concussed.
Yeah, that's kind of the way I like it.
I have to keep the peas on my forehead.
- Okay, try to balance it. - Okay. It's-
Hi.
Hello.
I told your bosses, but I wanted to tell you.
The work you did for us was brilliant.
Oh. Well, I really appreciate you saying that.
- Uh, Patrick Lyons, this is Carrie. - Nice to see you again.
- Nice to see you. - Excuse me.
You know, they're really very lucky to have you here.
Oh, I feel the same way to be here. I feel very lucky.
Here, I got it.
- Um, thank you. - You're welcome.
I was, um, just trying to get comfortable.
Well, don't get too comfortable, you might fall asleep.
Come on! Come on! Use your brain!
Use your brain! Oh, they're in the lead. We almost have an answer.
Who's ahead? Oh, Tammy's in the lead.
We might have a winner! We might have a winner right here!
Tammy won! 37' 2", the Green Monster.
Audrey, I'm very sorry, but you can have our home game. Don, what does she win?
Excuse me. It's a little loud, don’t you think?
Sorry, Mr. Ennis. The kids' drugs just kicked in.
Oh, ha ha.
Teenage drug use. That's great fodder for comedy.
All right, you guys. We're almost out of time. Pack up.
Remember, we got a big test next Tuesday, so st-
Hey, back off!. Back, back, back, you animals!
Back! Hey, one of the 10 problems on your handout will be on the test.
I'm not gonna tell you which one, so you’re gonna have to learn all of them.
Seven.
All right, study, you maniacs.
Remember, this Saturday is fall tryouts for next spring's J.V. baseball.
Just to avoid the confusion we had last year, let me say this year...
- we're looking for good players. - Hi.
Hey.
- How are you doing? - I have very exciting news. I couldn't wait to tell you.
- You got the promotion. - No, no.
Mr. Myerson did call me into his office right after we spoke. I was trying to play it cool.
But between you and me, I was ready to wash his balls.
Yeah, see, that joke's not fun for me.
I'm sorry. Let me explain.
There is this European company that we're trying to make a deal with, okay?
And what they do- You know what?
The point is they're sending me to Paris to close the deal.
- Wow! - And I am taking vous.
- Moi? - Oui!
Taking me to Paris?
Oh, this is gonna be so great.
Okay, I'm gonna cash in my first-class ticket and get two seats.
All you have to do, Mr. Wrightman, is call in sick tomorrow...
- and we're on our way. - Wait, it's tomorrow?
- Mm-hmm. - This weekend? It's now?
Yeah, we'll fly back Sunday afternoon, but with the time change...
you'll be back at work on Monday morning.
Oh, yeah, uh, I- I gotta be honest.
This isn't the best weekend for me. I'm kind of swamped.
Oh, no. Do you have a lot of work?
Uh, we're two games out of first, with three weeks left.
Seattle's coming in this weekend, and, I mean-
This is when they need me.
They need you?
Wait a second. I was just thinking about it. That's all.
A tip, Ben. When your girlfriend says, "Let's go to Paris for the weekend," you go.
All right, all right. I'll go. I'll go.
You'll go? You know what? I have a better idea. I think I'll take him.
Hey. Just slow down a second, okay?
Just go and enjoy your ball game.
You know, this is the second day in a row you've snapped at me.
- I'm late. - Fine. Go.
No, Ben.
I'm late.
How- How late?
Um, a week and a half.
Okay. That's not that late. Right?
No. It is for me.
Okay. Well, you know what? I mean, we're not the first people to-
to, you know- to- 'cause, you know, when two people-
- You know. - Deep breaths, Ben.
Yeah. Why-Why didn't you say something?
Why? So we could both freak out?
I mean, I wanted to wait for the right moment.
And then when this trip came up, I thought...
we'll go to Paris, and I'll tell you there...
because that did seem special.
But, no, you don't see us tangled up in the sheets with the Eiffel Tower in the window.
You see the Mariners are coming and Pedro's pitching Friday night.
Saturday. Schilling's on Friday.
Look. I- I admit I should have reacted differently.
If I ever build a time machine, that's the first place I'm going back to.
I'll be like, "Paris, whoo! I'm in. "
Uh, I- Really, I'm sorry.
That's all right.
But I have a 4:00 flight that I have to catch.
All right. I can pack my bags. We can put some stuff together. We can make this.
No, it's okay. The trip is already off to a weird start.
- Y- - Let's just talk about it when I get back.
- You sure? - Yeah.
- You're sure? - Yeah.
I could tell them I'm leaving right now.
- We're going. - No. It's okay.
You gonna be all right?
If you give me a kiss and wish me luck.
- Good luck. - Way to go, Mr. W.
Yeah.
Okay. I'll see you in a couple days. Okay?
- Yeah. - Okay.
Are you smoking? What are you doing? I'm a teacher.
That's an insult. Put it out.
Get back in class. Come on.
So, the 30-year-old is on course. He is the four-time-
- Hello? - I got it.
- Linds? - Mmm.
I got it.
- The promotion? - My period.
I can tell you were sleeping, so I'll call you later.
No, no, no. I'm up. I'm up. I'm up.
No, it's okay.
I'll see you tomorrow.
- Hey, Linds. - Yeah?
Are you okay?
Yeah.
- Safe flight. - Okay. Bye.
- I'll get it. - No. I got it. I got it.
- Thank you. - Want me to take it up?
No. I'm okay. I'm just gonna go upstairs.
Bye.
Hey. Linds. Uh-
Did, uh- Did you want a baby?
Eventually.
Well, eventually you will.
Well, it certainly got me thinking. That's for sure.
- What do you mean? - Ben.
If I’m with a guy for 11 months...
and I think I might be having his child...
I'm gonna ask myself, "Is this the guy?"
And if it is, "What's this going to be like?"
You know, if we’re to be Mr. and Mrs. Ben and Lindsey, how's this going to work?
It's like Robin's birthday party.
The minute I got the invitation, I had to run to the refrigerator and check the Red Sox schedule.
And the Yankees are playing, so I know I'm going stag.
And that's okay. I'm fine with that. But how far does it go?
You know, "Grandma, don't die because...
"the Red Sox are going out on the road...
so please wait until they come back to die. "
And, "Doctor, induce labor because the Oakland A's are coming in tomorrow. "
Do you remember last winter?
This is exactly what you liked about me.
That I was capable of having a passionate commitment with something. Uh, a devotion.
Yes, but you feel it for the Red Sox, and I was hoping that someday...
you might redirect that.
All those things that you feel for that team...
I feel them too- for you.
You know what she's saying to me, Ryan? She's saying I have an addiction.
Really? Well, you work 90 hours a week.
You know, that- But I guess that addiction's more socially acceptable, you know.
Am I wrong? Am I wrong?
Well, nobody's really wrong in these situations.
I mean, you have wants and needs.
She likewise.
Wait for your pitch, Miosky!
But she's great. She's great.
Definitely the best girl I've ever gone out with.
The- The smartest, the funniest, the best-looking.
The sex is like the- Well-
But there's a reason why she's 30 and not married.
I mean, you gotta see the big deal she's making about her friend's birthday party.
Oh, God. She's making a federal case about it.
I'm, like, hey, what if I had to work that night? What if I had a second job?
You know? What if I was doing charity work? Is that cool?
What if I’m, like, finishing a painting? Is that-You understand me now?
See my point? It's not the time.
It's she doesn't respect how I'm spending my time.
And now she expects me to miss a Yankees game?
Whatever.
Let's go, Murph. You're up.
All right, Mr. Wrightman. I gotta bat.
Let me just leave you with this thought.
You love the Sox.
But have they ever loved you back?
Who are you, Dr. Phil? Get out of here. Go hit- Go swing the bat.
The Red Sox started off tonight three games behind the Yankees.
Pedro delivers. The ball is lined over Bellhorn's head into right center field.
That'll get another run across as the Yankees extend their lead.
Benny boy, I still can't believe you're not at the Yankee game.
Yeah, well, if the Yankees looked that good in a dress...
I'd be at the game.
There's no way to measure what she is worth.
I'm the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.
Her, uh-
Hang on. Hang on. Okay. "I'm the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.
"Her face, her form, her sweet, loving smile.
And she even lets me dance around in her panties once in a while. "
My parents are here!
Really embarrassing. Really bad.
I love you, birthday girl.
I love you.
Yankee bats have come alive tonight.
- What's up, my man? - Oh. The game.
No, no. Hey. It's fine. It's fine.
- It's fine. - Okay.
None have been successful so far against this powerful Yankee offense.
6-0, Yankees.
Timlin ready to face the left fielder, Hideki Matsui. Timlin to the belt.
Here's the pitch.
Swung on. A drive hit high and deep.
And this one is gone.
- 7-0. - Matsui has hit his second home run of the night.
Hey. It's only a game.
That was like-
Yeah.
I mean- I mean, you were-
Thank you.
Not- Not just physically.
I mean, it felt like- like we were-
Mm-hmm.
I think this might be the greatest night of my life.
Hello.
Hold on. I think it's Troy. It's really noisy.
- Hey. Do you want some food? - Yeah.
- Okay. - Hello?
- Hey, what's that noise? - Ben, we won! We won!
We were losing 7-0 in the bottom of the ninth!
We scored eight runs! Ten straight hits!
It was unbelievable, man! It's the greatest night in the history of Fenway Park!
Can you hear this? It's bedlam here, man!
Yes! By- By the end, the stands were literally shaking!
The fire marshal had to get the- to stop jumping up and down!
The one game you missed!
You missed the greatest game ever!
This is an historic night, Natalie.
And word is these tickets stubs are already getting $200 on the street.
I have seen at least a dozen women celebrating topless in the streets.
Moments ago I witnessed a nun dancing on top of a moving vehicle.
I have seen police officers toasting beer with underage children.
It is absolute bedlam down here.
Right now I think we're witnessing the largest conga line ever.
I tell you what. If you are not down here right now, you're missing one heck of a party.
Hi. Would you like an omelet?
They... won.
The Red Sox?
Oh, good! This really is your night.
No. You don't understand. They scored eight runs in the bottom of the ninth to win 8-7.
It was the best game ever. I- I can't-
I- I never miss a game.
Ever. This is like a nightmare.
No, this is beyond that. This is like a punishment from God or something.
Two minutes ago you said this was the best night of your life.
Yeah. Two minutes ago it was.
Hey. I didn't tell you not to go.
Oh, no. No, no. Of course not. No.
You had nothing to do with it. I just suddenly had a whim...
after 11 years of never missing an inning, to suddenly not go to a Yankees game.
Hey.
Wasn't it you yourself that said just tonight...
"It's only a game"?
Oh, that's great. That's great. Pile it on. Yeah.
- Kick me when I'm down. That's great. - It is just a game.
Clearly, it's not just a game!
If it was, then obviously I wouldn't care about it this much.
Twenty-three years.
Do you still care about anything you cared about 23 years ago?
How about 10? How about five?
Name me a single thing that you’ve cared about for 23 years.
Yeah. No, um, there isn't actually anything I've wanted for 23 years...
because 23 years ago I was seven...
and if I still wanted to marry Scott Baio, I would think that my life went terribly wrong.
I- I just thought tonight was so different.
You broke my heart, Ben.
Hey.
Awesome! Whoo-hoo!
Wow!
- Wow! - Yeah, baby!
Well, the Red Sox's once-promising season...
has certainly taken a turn for the worse.
Losing the last three games, and today trailing to the Texas Rangers.
Curse of the Bam bi no.
T o think we quit our jobs for that road trip.
It's not a curse.
Did you know the Titanic sank the same week Fenway Park opened?
April 1912.
Oh, you-
Well, that's it.
The Yankees officially clinch the division.
Seven years in a row now, we finish with our faces in their butts.
Hey, hey, hey. It's not time to jump off the Tobin Bridge yet, okay?
We still have the wild card.
Oh, that's easy. First we gotta beat Oakland or Anaheim- on the road.
Then we gotta play the Yankees in the House of Pain.
Why do we inflict this on ourselves?
Why?
I'll tell you why.
'Cause the Red Sox never let you down.
- Huh? - That's right. I mean-
Why? 'Cause they haven't won a World Series in a century or so?
So what? They're here.
Every April, they're here.
At 1:05 or at 7:05, there is a game.
And if it gets rained out, guess what. They make it up to you.
Does anyone else in your life do that?
The Red Sox don't get divorced.
This is a real family. This is the family that's here for you.
You know, I don't ask her to give up her family, do I?
Come on! Let's get some runs! Let's get some runs!
You know the best part? I can get over her because I am a Red Sox fan.
I mean, I'm tough. I've been through a lot in this park, man.
I can take this.
Because I am bulletproof.
Behind the bag! It gets through Buckner!
Here comes Knight, and the Mets win it!
Open the door, man!
Little roller up along first.
Behind the bag! It gets through Buckner!
- Oh, my God. - The Buckner game?
- I thought you took that away from him! - I did!
Behind the bag! It gets through Buckner!
And the Mets win it!
It wasn't just Buckner. Stanley screwed him.
He didn't cover first.
- Where'd you get this? - I- I don't remember.
Don't lie to me. Right. Do you have anymore of these?
Huh? Where's your stash?
Ben, this isn't helping you.
You understand that? This solves nothing!
Ben, look at you.
Yeah, leave me alone.
- All right. Let's clean him up. - Come on.
- I let her down. - Let's go.
- I am the Red Sox. - You're not the Red Sox.
Get him up on the shoulder there, Gerard.
I got the shoulder right now.
- What are you doing? - Relax. I'm a doctor.
Yeah, well, not to pry, Doc, but why are you shaving my balls?
- Well, if you don't want me to- - No, I don't want you to.
- Whatever. - Hey.
- Bottom of the 10th. - Swing and a fly ball to left field! Way back!
Way back! The Red Sox are going...
to the American League Championship Series...
on the back of David Ortiz!
Al I right. You've been waiting al I year for this.
The Yankees, Red Sox, the best rivalry in sports starts tonight.
8:00, Yankee Stadium. Let's get it on.
The 2-2 pitch. Mueller back to Rivera.
To second for one. On to first. Double play!
And the Yankees take game one.
The Yankees are a strike away. Here's a 1-2 pitch.
Struck him out swinging That'll wrap it up.
For the second night in a row, the Yankees have beaten the Red Sox.
Here's a 2-0. Mueller flies to center.
Bernie Williams is there, and the Yankees have won it.
The end of a long night, and perhaps the end for the Boston Red Sox...
losing tonight 19-8, now falling in the series three games to none.
I mean, this thing is over. They keep swinging the bats...
the way they are, Don, this thing's done.
19-8. Good God.
Will you stop saying that? Okay?
- Now, who we pitching tomorrow? - What's the difference?
We're losing three games to nothing to the Yankees.
In a hundred years, no team in the play-offs has ever come back from that.
It's over. It's finished. Bye. Wave to it. Bye, Charlie. Bye, Charlie.
Oh. Isn't that Jason Varitek?
Yeah. That is him.
With Johnny Damon and Trot.
- They're eating. - So what?
So what? We're sitting here dining on our guts over the Red Sox.
And there three members of the Red Sox are eating.
With gusto?
- Ironic. - Ironic?
Ted Williams would roll over in his freezer if he saw this.
Would you please be cool?
Why shouldn't they eat?
They-They played hard. They did their best. Move on.
I kind of envy these guys.
You know. No. They understand something that we don't.
Their whole life isn't out in that field.
It's their job. It's not an obsession.
My God!
It's official. I'm an idiot.
That's funny because I was gonna-
- Can you get the door? - Sure.
Hello.
Uh, is- is Lindsey- Who are you?
I'm Patrick. Who are you?
- I'm Ben. - Oh, Ernie. Stop it, Ernie.
- Please. - Hey, Ern.
Ernie! Ernie, be nice.
You be a good boy now.
- Uh- - Come on. Sorry.
- Ben. - Hi.
Uh, what are you-what are you, having a party?
Uh, a group of us, um, just had this work thing...
and then some of us came back here after.
Um, I'm gonna talk to him, okay?
- Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm good. Thanks.
- Are you- Are you on a date? - No. It's-
It's a work thing.
I didn't want to go alone, so, you know- Carrie and Ezra are here as well.
Oh. So it's a double date. Well, that's- that's perfect. That's great.
- Ben, what are you doing here? - I- I wanted to talk to you. I-
I can't believe you’re on a date. This is like-
- I'm not. - Yeah, well, you know what? Look. I'll call ya.
Sorry I bothered you. I'll call ya.
No, no. This is crazy. I'm sorry.
I came here for a reason. All right. Look. I love you, Lindsey.
And I think that we should give this another chance.
- Did you hear me? - Ben-
Oh- Look, look, look.
You finish your evening. All right? I'll hang out here...
and when you're done with your date, we'll get married.
I don't think so.
Hey. What are you saying? I mean-
You know, you said you wanted more.
I mean, this is as more as there is. There is no more.
Yes. But this isn’t you. This is the other guy.
- What other guy? - It's October.
They're one game from elimination. You're becoming Winter Guy again.
I already know I like Winter Guy.
It's Summer Guy that broke my heart.
Summer Guy is gone.
Yes, until summer.
- No, no, no. Look. Lindsey, I realize, like- - Ben...
just too much has happened.
Oh.
All right. Look, look. Uh-
When the whole baby thing happened, I admit I froze.
All right. I thought of a million different reasons why I shouldn't be a father.
But then I thought of a reason why I should.
Because it would be ours.
You know, it's pieces of us. And I got so excited.
I mean, like, I went, and I got a whole bunch of Red Sox toys...
and a little size-one Red Sox jersey...
like, for a player to be named later.
I still have it for... whenever.
Ben, I just got so hurt.
Really hurt.
And sometimes...
when that happens-
something inside just shuts off.
I'm sorry.
- Oh. None for me. - Oh, come on.
- Since when did you stop drinking? - Yeah.
Since I... got pregnant.
- Molly. - I knew it!
- You did not. - Mm-hmm.
I told Lindsey. I said, "Her boobs look engorged. " Was Steve excited?
Are you kidding? He ran out and bought him- her-
a little train engineer hat.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - They do that, don't they? Little hats-
- Hello. It's Chris! - You gotta come with me.
- Molly's pregnant. - Mr. Myerson just announced you got the promotion.
- Oh, God! Sorry. - Oh, my God. Now my breasts are engorged.
- That was Lindsey. She got her promotion. - He's waiting.
He's holding champagne. Everybody's got a glass. I told him you're in the ladies' room.
Oh. Thank you. Okay.
Well-Wait. I gotta- I'm so sorry. I gotta go.
Go, go.
- I gotta go. - Guess what Chris is doing right now.
He's buying Ben's baseball tickets.
What?
Ben is selling Chris his Red Sox tickets.
- Lindsey, please. Let's go! - Wait. You mean, like, um, for today.
No. I mean, like, forever. For 125,000, it better be forever.
Are you guys that rich?
Yeah.
Why don't you dress better?
Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Ben- my Ben- is selling his Red Sox seats?
To hell with the seats. They're holding champagne.
Come on.
Let's go, Red Sox!
You know, what you’re doing is illegal.
That's right. Technically, if you give up your tickets...
you're supposed to give 'em to the Red Sox.
Hey. We're friends. Okay? They'll still be in his name.
They'll mail them to him, then he'll give them to me.
- Does the guy with the big squash always sit in front of you? - He's new.
I don't know. You want the tickets or not?
- Come on. Ow! - Shame on you.
Your Uncle Carl saw 3,000 games from these seats.
He's gonna come back and haunt you for this.
Speech!
Let's go. Come on.
Well, first, thank you, Mr. Myerson.
Um-
The truth is I- I like it here.
I like this work.
I know what I'm doing when I'm here.
I n fact, it's the only place...
where I know what I'm doing.
This is, uh, controllable.
It's safe.
Oh, my God.
He's selling his Red Sox tickets for me.
What have I ever given up for anybody that meant that much?
I'm sorry. I know this seems crazy, but I gotta go.
You realize you’re selling your seats for exactly the same price they sold Babe Ruth for.
You said it yourself. Relationships come and go, but the Red Sox are forever.
I want my sponges back.
- Would you be selling these tickets if we were winning? - I bet you wouldn't.
We're never winning. That's the point.
We're down three games to nothing. It's 4-3.
They got Rivera warming up in the bull pen. Look.
Designated hitter. Number 18.
John Olerud.
Look. If I keep these seats...
all I'll think about every time I'm here is-
is what I gave up for them.
Excuse me. Is there a ticket window somewhere?
- Sold out, sweetie. It's the play-offs. - All right.
- Hey. Hey. You need tickets? - Oh. You too.
No, no. I got tickets.
- We-Then why the sign? - That's for the cops.
Everybody knows when you say you need tickets, means you have tickets.
- Okay. I need a ticket. - Calm down. I got two. 300 apiece.
- What? - Hey. The only reason they're that cheap...
- is because it's the eighth inning. - Fine.
- I'll take one. - I can't split 'em up.
- Thank you. - Hey, hey. You know what?
Since you only need the one ticket, I'll buy the other one back for, like, 50 bucks.
Oh, okay. That sounds good. Oops.
Enjoy the game.
Ben, how do you know she'll even take you back?
It's- It's not just for her, okay? It's also for me, okay?
I gotta get my life in order. Some perspective.
- Some balance. - Hey. We've got a deal.
I'll buy your seats.
It's a real ticket.
Oh, it's a real ticket, but you're at the wrong entrance.
- You're way over in center field. - I just gotta get in for a minute-
- That's a ploy. I know it's a ploy. You're in center field. - Fine.
Groundball to the right side.
A race to the bag. Rivera is there.
And the Yankees are three defensive outs away from the World Series.
Into the ninth.
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Ooh. Sorry.
- Excuse me. - Watch it.
Excuse me. Sorry.
- Can I borrow these for a second? Thank you. - Yeah.
Sure.
No.
Why don't you have a cell phone, you idiot?
Sign by the red tab. Initial by the yellow tabs.
What are you buying, the stadium? Look at that thing.
Floyd the Barber, we're not in Mayberry, okay? Thank you.
Hey. Down in front. Come on, sweetie.
Hold your horses, buddy.
Robin. Wait. No. I can't talk right now.
Listen. I just need Chris's cell phone number.
That's odd.
You're having a stroke. Good.
I don't want to talk now. I'm at the ball game.
Chris!
Damn it!
Ben, come on.
- Don't do it. - This is crazy.
Think about it, Ben.
Check's all made out.
I'll invite you to some of the games.
I'm sorry, Uncle Carl.
Another idiot.
Hold it. Hold it.
Don, I hate to interrupt, but something is happening in center field.
This young lady jumped out of centerfield.
No. No. The TV.
Give her a little credit. She's pretty impressive.
She took her heels off.
Pretty good-looking too.
Go on!
You see that? She just grabbed Johnny Damon's butt.
Oh, cool!
Hey!
Ben!
- Lindsey. - Ben!
Ben. Ben!
What are you doing? You're gonna get arrested.
- Don't sell your tickets, okay? - That's why you ran across the whole field?
- Yes. To stop you. - What?
- You're out of here. - Just give me a second, okay? Just give me a second. Please!
You gotta tell me. Wait. The outfield- the grass- is it spongy?
- Ben, focus. - Sorry.
These seats are important to you, okay? This is your summer family, your Uncle Carl.
- You love these seats. - No. I fell in love with this when I was seven...
because I had nothing else.
Now I'm in love with you. I don't need this.
I don't want this.
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
You love me enough to sell your tickets.
I love you enough not to let you.
What do you say we try to do all of it?
Let's try to jerk one out of the park.
That's the sexiest thing I've ever heard in my life.
Ma'am, you're gonna have to come with me.
- Ben. - Yeah?
I'm being arrested.
All right. Let her go, buddy.
Never.
Well, you pretty much know the rest.
Rivera walks Millar. Roberts pinch-runs and steals second.
Mueller drives 'em in.
Ortiz in extra innings.
Extra innings again the next night.
Schilling's bloody sock in New York.
L owe and Pedro find their form.
Damon's grand salami in game seven.
Bye-bye, Bambino.
Boston Red Sox have won the pennant!
So what am I saying? That it was all karma because Lindsey came back to Ben?
Look. All I know is, when the Red Sox went to St. Louis for the Series...
me and the girls and Artie told them...
"You two gotta be there to keep this thing goin'."
And they went, and lo and behold-
Back to Foulke. Red Sox fans have longed to hear it.
The Boston Red Sox are world champions.
And that night there was a blue moon and a total eclipse.
And those are the facts.
Oh. One more thing.
You know that little player to be named later?
Ben says if it’s a boy, they'll name him Ted Williams Wrightman.
If it’s a girl, Carla Yastrzemski Wrightman.
Let's all pray for a boy.
Come to Washington Square Tavern on Beacon Street...
where Sox fans hang-
...cars, SUV’s, trucks and work trucks.
Come and get 'em at Cerrone Cadillac.
Ask for Kevin, and get your first drink free.
Remember. The Deluxe on Chandler and-
WEEl in Boston, the Dennis and Callahan program.
Rolling. One, two, three. And-
Let's go, Red Sox!